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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24105379">jaemin's five stages of breaking (and getting over it)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chanqqmin/pseuds/chanqqmin'>chanqqmin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, OT7 NCT Dream</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:22:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,693</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24105379</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chanqqmin/pseuds/chanqqmin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>jaemin and jeno were what you called attached by the hip: unseperatable. they both can't live without eachother.</p><p>and when jeno leaves without a trace left behind, jaemin breaks.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. disbelief</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello! this is my first fic posted on here and in general everywhere on the internet really</p><p>i hope you all enjoy this💕</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>jaemin couldn't believe it.</p><p>"what do you mean he has moved out?" jaemin shouted at the landlord lady who simply stood there with an annoyed expression on her face. </p><p>"he did. just last night he ended the lease of his apartment with me and carried all his stuff out of his room," she sighed, drawing tiny circles with her fingers on the side of her head out of frustration. a clear frown was visible on her face. "hey if you don't trust me go check the apartment yourself," the lady snapped, throwing a key to jaemin as he reacted quickly and caught it by the palm of his hand. he watched as the lady stomped away, muttering something under her breath as she goes.</p><p>jaemin couldn't believe it.</p><p>as he unlocked the door that he once came to everyday to hangout at his childhood friend's place. the door opened with a quiet <em>creek</em> and revealed the room that he was oh so familiar with. except all the decorations and furnitures that was spread across the room was all gone; all was left was the dull, white walls and hard, wooden floors. the polaroids that used to be up and displayed proudly along the string that jeno hung up all disappeared, nowhere to be seen: the polaroids that they would take together using jaemin's camera when they were bored or at a place where they think would be memorable. </p><p>jaemin stepped inside, hastily leaving out his shoes outside and coming in with his black ankle-socks. the smell of inside the room was familiar: the cologne that jeno used mixed with the scented candles that jaemin used to bring along with his visits. that was the only thing that strayed behind of the several memories he made together with jeno in this particular apartment.</p><p>jaemin couldn't believe it; he couldn't bring himself to believe it. he just couldn't; the thought of  jeno leaving him all behind with no explanation: not a single word. nothing.</p><p>the thought broke him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. denial</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>jaemin denied it. jaemin just knew with his gut feeling jeno would never leave him without a single word like this. he just,, <em>knew</em>.</p><p>the jeno he was with his entire life wasn't like this; jeno always told him his problems and jaemin would inturn also vent out to them. they had a inseperatable friendship. it was impossible that jeno simply can just up and leave like this. jaemin is convinced that jeno will come back, denying whatever anyone else said.</p><p>he would stop by jeno's apartment's doorstep after his schoolday ends, and simply sit there with earbuds plugged in, listening to the playlist that jeno made for him, and him only. he would do this everyday, spending every single hour of his spare time sitting there in hopes of jeno coming back. sometimes on weekends he would even spend his entire day there, refusing to walk away from it until the sky turns to a orange hue and the moon starts rising.</p><p>he would lean his back onto wooden door that was painted white with his knees tucked in and his phone sitting by his side, watching as the cars zoomed by and pedestrian walked to their destinations. sometimes during those hours he would think of all the happy moments they had together: the moments that he cherished so much and will forever take to his deathbed. </p><p>every single day that passes by, jaemin started to lose an inch of hope that jeno will ever come back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. sadness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>jaemin was so sad; sad to the point he would cry day and night, skipping school and making his parents worried for him. it came to the point he had permanent bloodshoot eyes, a red nose and swelled eyes. everytime he cried, a horrible headache would come. everytime he cried, memories of himself and jeno would flood him. </p><p>he can't stop crying. the thought of jeno not coming back at all made him feel miserable. the though of his childhood friend - the one he spent so many hours with, playing and chatting - will never come back. god that triggered so many feelings, making him cry once more.</p><p>jaemin didn't even want to open his eyes anymore. everytime he looked around his room or anywhere, a memory of him and jeno at the place would pop in, causing more pain for himself to handle.</p><p>sometimes he would cry till his entire face turned numb. he would cry so loud and lock himself in to the point his parents would come knocking to his door and say</p><p>
  <em>"jaemin you fine in there?" his parents knocked on the door again as jaemin stiffled in a cry. he quietly muttered a yes before turning his body to face the plain wall. he could feel the pain of his eyes as he had been crying for the last few hours nonstop. though that didn't stop him from sobbing further and thinking of jeno. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"are you positive you're fine, jaemin?" he could barely hear his dad over the music he was blasting through his earphones. he hesitated before answering.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"yes," jaemin responded. then hee continued, "i am positive that i am fine please don't worry." </em>
</p><p> </p><p>and then after all of the sobbing and pooling of the tears, jaemin would wonder - just that tiny bit - if jeno knew that he - jaemin - was crying so much over him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. guilt and blaming</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>a few days passed since the disappearance of jeno and other than being sad, jaemin was often angry: frustrated. he often asked himself if he was the reason on why jeno left. if he did something wrong to trigger this reaction. what did he do wrong?</p><p>he'd convince himself he didn't: he didn't do anything wrong. though a part inside him still urged himself to look through all his memories, searching for the one that might've been hurtful for jeno. he tried so hard to find the reason of the sudden leave. jaemin would think so hard while lying on top of his mattress and looking at the white ceiling with his eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched, twitsting and turning to every memory that flooded in. </p><p>then finally when he couldn't think no more and so sick of tired of having constant headaches trying to search through his memories, he picked up his phone and ringed over to his friend donghyuck. </p><p>
  <em>"hyuck," jaemin whispered into his phone  immediately after the line picked up. his friend made a uncomprehensable sound - which jaemin thought sounded like a 'mmfgm' - into the phone; jaemin could hear the latter  moving on his bed as it squeaked a bit. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"why are you calling me this late minnie? it's three am," donghyuck questioned him, his voice came out as a bit raspy as he just woke up at the call. jaemin sighed</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"you know how jeno just up'ed and left right?,, i've just been trying to think what i could've done wrong to anger him this much to the point he left me without saying a word," jaemin responded, fidgeting with his fingers. his phone was by his head at full max volume and speaker so he could hear the younger loud and clear.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"yeah what 'bout it?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"i just feel like its my fault,," jaemin paused,"i don't know why. i just feel like his departure and disappearance from all of our lives' was my fault," he explained before letting a sob out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"jaemin-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"hyuck, seriously. what did i do wrong? surely nothing right? you were with me and jeno most of the time; what did i do wrong?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"NA JAEMIN," hyuck shouted, finally snapping as jaemin suddenly closed his mouth in fear of the other. donghyuck sighed then continued, "baby i'm sure you weren't the cause of this. he probably had his own reasons to leave so please don't blame it on yourself."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"i guess so."</em>
</p><p>and jaemin trusted those words. he believed that jeno would come back when he was ready.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. getting over it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the final part to this! i hope you all enjoyed reading through this and please look forwards to my other works.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>months passed and jeno still hasn't came back. all of the '00 liners, including him, donghyuck and renjun, had already graduated and are going to start the first semester of university soon.</p><p>and also in addition to this, <em>jaemin had already have gave up on waiting for jeno</em>.</p><p>he gave up, realizing and acknowledging the fact jeno might never appear in his life ever again. sure, it hurt (a lot) but jaemin came to the conclusion that he would have to anyways get over jeno's departure to continue with his life. </p><p>at first, he thought that having distractions will help him get over the fact. soon, he started to pile up on girlfriends and boyfriends alike and breaking up shortly after with them one by one when he felt like they aren't enough for him. he tried flings, one night stands, cigarettes, drugs- everything just to get over it.</p><p>none of them worked and yet again he was thrown into the repeating circle of denial, sadness, disbelief and guilt. jaemin ran out of ideas to distract himself from the reality. he didn't know what else to do. </p><p>until renjun said that he found a little club of people close to his age: a club that was specialized in dancing, rapping and singing for the fun and jokes. when jaemin first joined, he suddenly started to feel so happy: the type of happiness that he felt like he was at the peak of his life; the  type of happiness that he once had with jeno. they bonded closer and grew into a tight group of friends consisting of himself, mark lee, park jisung, zhong chenle, huang renjun and lee donghyuck, who were already his friends prior to joining this closeknit group. </p><p>with just that one month since he joined the club, he forgot all about jeno: the departure, their happy moments and everything. a weight was lifted off his shoulder and he now felt more carefree and joyful than before. constant smiles and laughs would seem to pour out of his mouth instead of the tears and sobs that used to come running down. </p><p>for once in that one year, he felt like he was flying above the clouds. and he enjoyed it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i had troubles trying to write this as i always wrote fluff pieces in my spare time but writing an angst(is that the correct terminology? haha) is really new💖 but nethertheless, i genuinely enjoyed writing this fic up haha,, personally i hope i'll be able to write more angsty ones like this💓</p></blockquote></div></div>
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